When I was between the ages of around 14 and 17, something very interesting began to happen in my sleep. While I was dreaming, and quite fond of my occasional flying dreams… I found myself rocketing up through the layers of the atmosphere with great velocity as if driven by something beyond my control. It would only take me several seconds of dream time to go from ground level to the the point where the blue sky turns black and I began to exit the atmosphere altogether. While the thought of it sounds cool and even fun… plain truth was, it wasn’t. It was extremely scary! I found myself reverse flapping my arms just to try to fight the levitational pull that was surely going to lead me to a place from which I could never return to my life or I would enter oblivion itself… maybe forever!
These dreams were so powerful and real that for a while there I would cry before I went to sleep as though mourning my own death. That phase ended after a while and I have many times since wondered why. Recently something new has begun to happen. I have been intentionally taking myself, through meditative thought, beyond or at least to the outer edges of the atmosphere of my own mind.
It is there that I discover that the reality I perceive, such as being a man on a planet in a larger universe is indeed a dim replica of what reality actually is. Yet without looking at my reality itself, I default into a mode of assuming the reality I perceive is Reality and the dysfunction begins. Since this is what everyone is doing for the most part, we sustain these irresponsible practices and even build entire institutions around defending what are essentially artificial reality structures which inevitably serve a few and harm somebody or the environment because they are by definition de-sourced from the infinite reality we ACTUALLY live in. Like kids in a sandbox playing a destructive game and making their own rules as they go.
Today I find myself viscerally experiencing in my body the effects of venturing beyond the atmosphere of my mental reality just by choosing to go there… and when I go there I discover that I am more ((here)). It is in the continuing practice of sustaining the mental structure we have inherited through the ages that we dissociate from Real Reality which is why it is even possible to experience mundane reality… the “place” where we can say that “it’s just another day.” The place where we can even complain about anything… the place where we can be jaded and disenchanted with life… the place where things like material possession and ego status become the trophies of a life well lived. This is a sad place. And I’m saying that it all comes from the mental practice of denying infinity.
I can see now that when I was a 14-17 years of age I was going through that same transition of the ((Spirit Being)) to the /human doing/ that everyone goes through especially as the ego reality of gearing up for the “real world” is constantly being put in your face as it is in high school when every grade you earn is supposed to be your acceptance or denial into college which is supposed to be our port in to a “successful life” which is characterized by attaining the things that buy security in a world that by poplar belief is devoid of God even if this life is another test that is supposed to get us into “his” kingdom.
Meanwhile it is our mental structures that deny us access into infinity’s kingdom which is right here always. It couldn’t not be. But our mental practices are not only too weak to allow for its infinite flow but actually cuts us off from the infinite flow altogether and we find our selves suffering in myriad ways without awareness of the true cause of our dis-ease. I was going through this transition as everyone else had… but maybe with a slightly stronger pull to the infinite than normal. When those dreams came to me, they were the infinite calling me to remember… but not remembering as facts, but remembering as Reality. At that point in my life I was already deeply committed to following suit with my predecessors and my peers in order to play it safe as it seemed the popular thing to do. But now I know that it is that very popularity winning the day over the unsung hero of the infinite presence that funds all life that is the very downfall of all humanity.
Countless innocent victims falling prey to either the lure of doing the “right thing” and stepping in line or the many who fall prey to the perilous in-between realms of being a social misfit and yet still forgetting the infinite. It’s nothing short of a war zone out there, but not between political parties, religions, or countries… it is a war between forgetting and remembering. And the carnage and waste of life will continue until we can see what is really happening.
I’m not saying I am special. I just happen to remember forgetting. But I too forgot. We all forgot. And to remember ((Reality)) is salvation. The salvation that all of our prophets and saviors have spoken of for time immemorial.
I can’t help but notice the countless epics and movies that always portray the triumph over the ultimate bad guy. When evil’s embodiment is supposedly and finally trumped by the embodiment of the righteous and how at the end of those movies I always ponder about what their world is like only a few years later. For even though the bad guy is defeated the underlying cause which breeds all bad guys is not addressed and the eternal wheel of suffering continues as the the bad guy is not a guy at all. The bad guy is the mental encasement which separates the being from Being itself and will inevitably breed “evil” in some form again.
I’m tired of the movies that defeat the bad guy. Because I know that it is temporary. Another bad guy will keep coming in to reflect the gross addiction of humanity to making herself into a thing, separate from the infinite, with an expiration.
I invite you to begin being the medicine unto yourself and therefore humanity. Un-thing yourself in every moment. Remember more and more the infinite simply by venturing to the outer reaches of your consciousness… again and again. Challenged the /either/or/ structures of your mental processing. The infinite is ((Both/And)). Reality is Infinite. Dismantle your finitized self… your finitized model of reality… your finitized version of your body. Keep dismantling the rigid confines of a culture that denies the erotic, passionate, wild, aliveness of Reality. Be one of the brave ones until it is no longer considered brave. The world needs you. The world needs someone(s) to give them permission to also be Real.
Challenge the structures of society not outside of yourself… but within yourself as they live in you and can only be perpetuated by your choosing. And they can only be starved and dismantled by your opting out.
One quits their addiction authentically not by the mere force of someone external requiring them to. One finally leaves the ephemeral satisfaction of their vices for the more eternal contentments born of having faith in the virtues that characterize the life of sustained infinite being. Once one knows that they have had enough suffering and can see the extent of the human addiction to denying the infinite, they can finally accelerate the healing that we are all groping at in the dark.
The light has been turned on now. The suffering is pointless now. See the infinite. See the finite. Choose again and again. While the oppression and popularity of Mechanical Human life seem overwhelming, there is something farm more overwhelming. The mother of overwhelm herself… the ((Infinite.)) Be overwhelmed! Let yourself fly past the upper layers of your atmosphere and let all in you that can dissolve, dissolve. What remains is the infinite self. Always here. This is our natural state of being. This is Yoga. This is ((Life)).